I can't remember not being a Christian, although I was not raised in what would be considered a Christian household. I know now that God has always been there for me, even when I turned my back on him
My faith has pulled me through some tough times, but that was severely put to the test earlier this year. The year started with the news that I needed my gallbladder removed (a cholecystectomy if you prefer the big words). During this time I noticed Pam slipping back into depression and again I felt helpless and truly overwhelmed. Soon I was having trouble sleeping ... a lot of trouble sleeping. Sometimes I would not sleep at all, or barely get a hour. About the same time I lost my appetite ... and I lost interest in pretty much everything. I knew something was wrong, but didn't want to admit it.
It reminded me a bit of the original Rocky movie. Apollo knocks Rocky down in the 14th round and Mick is yelling at Rocky saying, "Stay down, stay down!" But Rocky pulls himself up on the ropes and tells Apollo to "Come on" as he gestured. Rocky lost the fight, but he went the distance and didn't give up.
In August it was like every part of my brain was yelling at me to just stay down, but I can't. I'm pulling myself up ... I may not win the fight, but I'm not going to give up. Whatever life has in store, bring it on.
Getting myself to start training again is important. The truth is I really don't want to train, but I'm starting to find the enjoyment I once had ... Can you say endorphin rush? :-) I need the structure, I need the goals and training is the easiest place to start ... I may not look forward to the gym, but I am usually happy that I went.
I trained all four days over the Thanksgiving weekend including a 40:30 brick (40 minutes bike and 30 minutes treadmill - Bike + Run = ICK, ..BRICK), a 5 mile walk in just under 1:30 and 20 minutes on the stepper at level 2. Not a bad start.